1. (858): I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
2. (804): girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
3. (916): I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
4. (804): just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
5. (603): Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
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